Hey, it's me again..

Wow.

I clicked a link to this blog, after so so so long, and I can't believe how much has changed. The Monkey was so little, just two years old, and last week he started Kindergarten. Boo wasn't even born yet, and now she's two! Back then we were living in Germany, now we're living on Okinawa, Japan.

Maybe no one will even see this, and this is by no means a promise that I'm going to be writing regularly again, but I just had to post a picture of my "updated" family. :)

Me, Boo, the Sergeant, and Monkey, at the Okinawa Aquarium

September 2012

Heart: Melting

The Best News

For now I'll let the pictures speak for themselves. I don't really have any words.

Hey, it's me again...

I don't really even know what to say.

We went to Michigan right after Christmas, for a month, and I knew I wanted to take a blogging break. Michigan was my vacation from everything, and it was WONDERFUL. The Little Mister and I were surrounded by family and friends and love and all my stresses just melted away. The only badness, of course, was that the Sergeant wasn't there...but I know I can't have everything. And it looks like he just might be coming home a bit sooner than expected, so...bonus!

My brother's wedding was lovely, and (after much headache) the dress I now affectionately call "the scary dress" was gorgeous and fit perfectly, with no disasters. And I even wore heels! (wow did my feet hurt at the end of the night...)

A few days after we got back to Germany I got sick. (Of course. That's what I do.) I had a stomach virus that dehydrated me so bad I ended up in the er, and I was sick for over a week. Not the most fun I've ever had, I can tell you that. The major blessing was that the Little Mister had it first and was literally only sick for about two hours. Why can't I be like that??! I'm just glad he got his daddy's immune system and not mine!

So now I'm back. My brain is still a bit frazzled and fuzzy, but perhaps I can come up with something interesting to post every once in awhile. In the next day or so I'll post some pictures from the wedding so you can see my pretty dress...and how adorable my son looks in a little suit!!

Just a little late...Merry Christmas!!!

With lots of love and wishes of peace and joy
from the Dragonfly house

Decorating Ornaments, aka Messy Craft Time

*for Wordless Wednesday*

Life

note: There's no specific badness going on, this is an old poem. I wasn't feeling a poetry vibe today but I couldn't resist the Monday Mission call for a poetry post; I looked through some of my old poems and this one just sort of spoke to me. So...

I want to understand, but the question is too big.

It's so strange
that the world and everyone
goes on when I feel stopped.
The sky is heavy.
There's a weight on my chest
that has nothing to do with anything
I can touch. My mortality screams
in my ears today, tells me
nothing is forever.

I think I am immune to life,
but I am fooling myself.

I want to put my fist
through a window,
to watch my knuckles bleed,
to feel pain,
to feel something.

I am cold inside.
Even my tears are cold.

I smile, say No, don't worry
about me. I'm fine, but I'm not
fine at all. I feel like throwing up,
like maybe if I empty my stomach
I can get rid of yesterday
and start over.

april 2000

I wrote this the day after I found out my grandpa had an inoperable brain tumor. He died a few weeks later. Thankfully all of his kids and all of his grandkids were able to make the trip from Michigan to Florida to see him before he died. It was an overwhelming whirlwind of sickness, travel, sadness, tears, and death.

Been thinking a lot about mortality lately. We get these emails called Red Messages - after the family is notified (in person, of course), a message is sent to the rest of the unit to let them know when a soldier has been killed. The messages always include the "survivors"...and the Little Mister gets so many extra hugs when there are kids! I worry about the Sergeant, of course, but not as much as many spouses. He never leaves the base, he's relatively safe. My best friend's husband, though...he's being deployed to the Middle East for the third time next month, and he's infantry, so he'll be in danger pretty much every day. No wonder this poem jumped out at me.

But, on the flip side, there is joy. Life. Live it! Live every single day. It's something I need to remember. At the moment I'm drowning in Christmas cards (40 down, 26 to go) and I've been so focused on them the past few days that I've been doing less fun stuff with the Little Mister. We play, but I haven't made an effort to get out paint, or markers or other Messy Stuff (which he loves, of course). So tomorrow (he's in bed now) my goal is to have fun with my son. And if someone's Christmas card is late...well, that's life.